I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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