mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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