How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
