Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize