it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
