The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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