just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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