my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
