What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize