I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
