i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
