I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
