do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
