he thought i was a dude.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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