how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
