if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
