oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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