we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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