i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
