i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
