Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
