how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
