I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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