$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
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so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.