No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
