biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
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Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.