We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.