Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.