lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize