The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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