Having a random hookup so left but love u
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
