You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
