Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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