Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I want to be your penis for a week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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