you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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