Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
