why didn't you poke me back
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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