I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
