A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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