in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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