I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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