her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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