There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do vagina's smell?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
