and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
