matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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