hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
