Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
