it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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