Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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