Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
