i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
