You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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