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And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
