what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
