my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
