I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
