Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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