you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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