Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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