So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
