Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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