what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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