Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
